воскресенье, 30 января 2011 г.
Achieving success takes sacrifice
Nowadays it is very important to have the fruitful career. Frequently the success determines the status in the society. Unfortunatly it takes sacrifice. First of all, the high achiever have a lack of time as usual, so it become very difficult to be with your family and friends. Also success grabs a lot of energy, we have to be concentrated all time and can not afford to relax, as a result it leads to the stress. Sometimes, when you are at an all time high, you lose the focus of the reality. You think only about your work. For instance, we have heard about the celebrities life. People believe that it is wonderful, but they don't know how many efforts were made.
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Liza, I can definitely tell you that this entry has taken more of your time. The essay is thought through well.
ОтветитьУдалитьHere are some of my comments:
1. Sentence 1: A fulfilling career (not fruitful, and we use "a", not "the")
2. Sentence 2: It's better to say: our success determines our status, or leave out the articles at all.
3. Sentence 3: spelling "unfortunately".
4. Sentence 4: A high achiever as a rule (instead of as usual) lackS time (instead of has a lack of time).
5. Sentence 5: "grab" is not the best word in this case, better to say: takes a lot of energy, saps a lot of energy. We have to be focused (instead of concentrated), cannot (one word), it leads to stress (leave out the article).
6. Sentence 6: it's better to say "lose touch with reality." I really liked how you used the expression "at an all-time high." Very appropriate. Good job!
7. Sentence 7: celebrities' life (no article).
8. Sentence 8: efforts have been made (better than were made).